


Non-Canon

by Hayvel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, F/F, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayvel/pseuds/Hayvel
Summary: What does it mean, to write for an ongoing story? What happens when things occur that fly in the face of the things you had in mind? What happens to the thoughts, the plans, the characters, when there's no longer the illusion that they could possibly be real?A sequel of sorts to my other work, Jade Harley Deserves Better.





	1. >DIRK: Escape

DIRK: Hey fuckface. I told you your shit wasn't canon.

It has been roughly 6 months, since Dirk Strider's plans were prematurely cut short. There had been a great deal of talk on what to do with him, but it had eventually been decided to lock him up, and try to rehabilitate him- which is why he's here in Earth C's highest security prison. Which pretty much contains just him, since nobody else is even capable of requiring this much security.

DIRK: Yeah, I know. You don't need to tell me, I'm already here.

He's in one of those big, plastic-looking containment cells, that aren't actually plastic and are probably like crazy strong, that they use for crazy powerful supervillains. That way the heroes and the audience can actually see and interact with them, like how the guard on duty, an older, gruff troll woman can see him talking at the sky.

DIRK: Are you just ignoring me now?

For fuck's sake, I'm just trying to set the scene here.

DIRK: Well, stop it. You're officially non-canon now. So why even bother?

Dude, c'mon. That's the entire point of fanfiction.

DIRK: So trying to comply with canon mattered to you while you were trying to write it, but now suddenly it doesn't matter?

Look, I knew when writing it that it wasn't going to be canon forever. That eventually, something would come out, and there's no way in hell it would comply with the things I wrote.

I just... figured I'd have a little more time, y'know? A little longer to feel like the things I wrote were canon. Like it was just as valid as anything else out there.

DIRK: I'll be honest, I thought the same thing. You really had me going there for a bit, thinking this was it. That since the story was left open to people like you intentionally, I was really just stuck with this shit being my reality.  
DIRK: But I'm still aware of all my splinters. Including the real ass Canon Dirk, out there on his ship.  
DIRK: Now that he's up to shit again, I know about it, and I know the story doesn't end here.  
DIRK: And since you went to all that effort to trick me into thinking this meaningless fanon offshoot ever had any importance, I just wanted to take the time to tell you, now that I know better.  
DIRK: You're full of shit.  
DIRK: So why even bother?  
DIRK: Like, seriously, why are we going to the effort of detailing my thoughts about this.

Because... I still had a lot of stuff I wanted to do? I thought about continuing before, wrapping up those loose ends, all that shit. The conversation with you here was definitely part of it- but now, well. Now, it's this. Because now things don't end here, and you know that full well. Even if I had a full idea of how to link all the disparate scenes together into some overarching narrative, there's still this shit to deal with.

that is no reason not to make a story.

DIRK: Oh, great. Cool, we've got the author trifecta here now.

Oh, uh. Hi, (Jade). Although I'm guessing you're not just here to talk. Or annoy Dirk. Although Dirk definitely is annoyed. He doesn't show it much but there's a definite shift in his body language, however subtle. Sitting up a little straighter and tensing his muscles.

DIRK: Stop narrating my body language. Also, stop writing. That's Canon Dirk's job now.

i have no interest in annoying the prince.

DIRK: Big talk from the cherub who wrote about swords incorrectly specifically to spite me.

i am here to encourage you to continue writing. it had meaning to you, and you enjoyed it. others enjoyed it as well.

I mean. Yeah! I did get some very nice comments from people! And let me tell you, Jade's Pesterquest route was HUGELY validating for the way I chose to write her. Still though, like... it seems a bit silly, to keep writing this now that there's actual, official content out there that invalidates it.

it is not invalidated. the messages within it and the emotions it made others feel are still there.

DIRK: I mean, it sure as hell is invalidated. You got things all wrong. Like the bit about me doing this because Jade screwed up and made a sterile universe? Surprise, there's already Sburban tech out there.

even if some pieces are wrong, they can still be enjoyable and meaningful to read.

Okay, true, but... I dunno. Part of the reason I brought Jasprose in before everything came to a head is, well... if I'm being honest, I've got NO goddamn clue what Dirk's plan is, other than, y'know. Something involving a Sburb session. Guy's inscrutable as all hell.

DIRK: Thank you.

I've got some little scene ideas, some character moments in mind, but... nothing to be working towards. Nothing to string them all together, y'know?

you now have a direct source to information which will reveal the prince's plans, however, which may give you information and inspiration. furthermore, there is not necessarily any need for the scenes to be part of something overarching.

...So. Just, write what I feel like? Don't necessarily make it a story, just write little mini-stories and character moments and the like, and just link them together and move them towards plot points if any come up?

correct.

...Hm. Yeah, sure, why not? Even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll have tried. And I may not know all of Dirk's plan, but I do at least know one piece he's got in play.

It's at that moment that a huge explosion rocks the whole room. Bits of shrapnel go flying, as an enormous hole is blasted in the wall, and through Dirk's not-plastic cell. Standing there, is the sleek, metal form of a robot, with its arm outstretched and morphed into the shape of an arm cannon, barrel smoking and glowing before it returns to the shape of an arm. The robot's sporting a pair of shades and a head molded to mimic a familiar hairstyle that Dirk recognizes immediately.

DAVEBOT: hey bro  
DAVEBOT: you good to go

The payoff to a plan set in place by one of his splinters. Of course, following through with it here, in this officially non-canon narrative would be pointless.

But then, it's not like he has a whole lot else going on right now. Not all that much to do, just sitting in this cell, after all. Other than waiting for his friends to come over and try chatting with him, and trying to get him to change his mind and not be quite as much of a douche, which haven't really worked yet. Mostly Dave and Roxy, with a couple visits from Jane. One visit in particular from Terezi, that mostly consisted of her cackling at how badly he fucked up. So, why not go ahead with this? Getting in some high stakes, narratively potent action might just be the kind of intense, business-like fun that Dirk enjoys- so how about you just play along with me here?

DIRK: ...  
DIRK: Eh, fuck it. Why not.  
DIRK: Might be fun to see you write yourself into a corner, too.  
DAVEBOT: huh  
DIRK: Nothing. Don't worry about it.

Dirk steps out of his cell, and casually delivers a backhanded smack to the approaching guard without even turning to look, before they both fly out and make their getaway.

Now then. With that taken care of, let's see what Jade's up to.  



	2. >JASPROSESPRITE^2: Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bad news is shared.

In the intervening months since the big space adventure ended, things have really settled down, and Jade Harley has to admit, she's been doing FANTASTIC!

She's never really known what it's like, for a house to be a home before. For her own space to not feel like a prison. But since she started dating Jasprose, the whole place has just felt... so much warmer. When she first showed up for that date and a night of cuddling on the couch and watching goofy cartoons, the place was a bit of a mess. There was an uncomfortable amount of dust, and not just from all the time they spent in space. Things were scattered all about, the space being used more as storage than it was something that any person was actually supposed to navigate. There was food in the fridge which had been spoiled before the spacetrip, because Jade didn't really stop back here very often to check up on things.

There was a greenhouse, too, which Jade had never actually gotten started on. It was mostly filled with a lot of tools and empty pots of dirt. She'd been finding it difficult to find the motivation to really get going again- she guesses she was just kinda depressed?? But now that she has a reason to stay home, she's putting a lot more effort into it, growing beautiful flowers and plants, and her own little orange tree! Store bought's fine, sure, but she'd forgotten how good her favorite fruit tasted when she put in the work to grow it herself. And Jasprose has been very, very encouraging. She's an endless fountain of positivity, and it's hard for Jade not to feel like she can take on the world when she's around. Even if she occasionally bats one of the potted plants to the ground.

And best of all, when Jade DOES start to feel a little lonely, when the house starts to feel a bit too big and empty for just one person, when the scattered books and art and sewing projects and tangled up balls of yarn...

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] has started pestering tentacleTherapist2 [TT2] --

GG: hey, is it alright if you come over for a bit???

...She's always right there in the blink of an eye, a window appearing and Jasprose launching herself through, her pink and purple form latching onto Jade, clinging to her and holding close, fuzzy cheeks nuzzling against her.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: *Purr, purr,* Hello Jade!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you need me for anything in particular?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Perhaps a mid-day bout of passion? ;3  
JADE: hehe! in a little bit, maybe, sure!  
JADE: im just, yknow. feelin a little weird and junk!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh. Is that not just me, then?  
JADE: youre lonely too??  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: ...Oh. No, I just meant  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nevermind, it probably isn't anything that important.  
JADE: huh? are you sure??  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Positive, yes!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Anyway, if you need my help to stave off the feelings of loneliness, then I will of course be happy to light up your life!

The comment is accompanied by a playful grin, and a bout of pink and purple flashing. She'd learned how to control that particular feature of herself after a chat with Kanaya, as she also had a somwhat bothersome glowing and flickering problem in the past. As much as Jade loves her, it did make her kind of hard to look at, and led to their first few attempts to sleep in the same bed together resulting in Jade waking up many, many times through the night when she rolled over and got a faceful of bright pink and purple light.

JADE: heehee... youre sweet <3

And Jade leans in to plant a quick smooch on her lips, which is eagerly returned.

JADE: what were you even up to before dropping by here, anyway?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, just attending a concert, with a very cute carapician drummer.  
JADE: cuter than me? :p  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jade, sweetie, I don't think it's possible for someone to be cuter than you. The best one can hope for is a tie, and I've already secured that spot!  
JADE: gosh! it sure is nice being the official cutest couple on earth c, then! <3

Jade leans in for a kiss again, and Jasprose again returns it. But rather than resuming their conversation, Jade instead goes for another kiss- and another, and another, Jade slowly leading the floating spectral catgirl over to the couch, so they can get a bit more focus on the smoochfest currently flaring up, when Jade's phone suddenly goes off with the ping of a message.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Mmm... do you wanna answer-

The pair of lips firmly cutting Jasprose off and arms around her neck holding her closer tells her that, no, Jade does not want to answer it right now, even as she receives a few more messages. Whatever it is, she can get to them later.

When Jasprose's phone goes off, though, she stops, pulling away and placing a hand on Jade's shoulder to hold her back from getting right in there again.

JADE: mmff... cmon, cant it wait??  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: No, no- if they're trying to message both of us, it might be something important.  
JADE: oh, cmon, how important can it be???  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: It... well, it just might be, is all.

Jasprose retrieves her phone from her pocket, and checks on what's happening, and she... well, she'd say she hopes it has nothing to do with the strange feeling that she has, but that would imply that she even knows the feeling's bad.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has started pestering tentacleTherapist2 [TT2] --

TG: hey u there  
TG: cuz uh theres kinda some shit going down  
TT2: Well! That certainly isn't ominous or anything.  
TT2: What precisely is the manner of shit, and in what manner is it descending?  
TG: dirk busted out of jail  
TT2: Oh. That kind of shit.  
TT2: The kind that's absolutely awful, and is descending out of a second story window right onto your head by some careless cat owner who doesn't care to dispose of their litter in a proper fashion!  
TG: u really like the whole cat thing, huh?  
TT2: Yes, I do!  
TG: anyway is like jade with u  
TG: she wasnt answering me  
TT2: Yeah, she's right here with me!  
TT2: Though, now she's sulking a bit. Keeps making a show of huffing and tossing her hair and tapping her foot impatiently.  
TT2: Really, it's adorable! And I certainly can't blame her for being annoyed that she doesn't get to spend time with someone as wonderful as I am!  
TG: ohhh i see  
TG: lmao yeah i didnt mean to interrupt or anything  
TG: but yeah this is kinda important??  
TT2: Yeah. I'll bring Jade into the chat real quick, so we can get the details together.

Which she does, after a quick explanation- once Jade is informed of just how very serious this message is, her demeanor shifts completely, and she scrambles to get her phone out and into a chat as soon as possible.

GG: okay WHAT  
GG: how exactly did he do that???  
GG: how does he just, get out of jail!!  
GG: we designed the place specifically to keep him in!!  
TG: well apparently someone busted him out  
TT2: Any idea who?  
TG: uh the guard says it looked like some kinda robot? but with like sunglasses  
TT2: Hm. He is talented with robotics, and an obscenely good planner. He may have had a contingency in place for this.  
GG: mm... maybe, but... do you know what kinda sunglasses they were?  
GG: like, were they dumb anime shades or...  
TG: nah they were like aviators or sumthin  
GG: oh goddammit  
GG: ok i think i know what the deal with the robot is  
GG: it sounds like it might be my ex-husband :/  
TG: u were married???  
TT2: Well, not this version of her.  
TT2: Thankfully, she is no longer linked to anyone so painfully dull in any sort of romantic manner.  
TG: oh yeah the whole like  
TG: was it meat??  
GG: no, this ones meat! hes from the candy timeline  
TG: right right  
TG: man that shits all crazy  
TG: i get why it took u so long to talk about it  
GG: right???  
GG: but anyway, we need to find him and get him back under control!  
TG: well yeah but  
TG: nobody really knows who he is  
GG: thats fine! there are other ways of tracking him  
GG: do you still have the junior compu-sooth spectagoggles i gave you??  
GG: i dont think i ever got those back  
TG: yeah nah i already tried using those but theyre not working  
GG: wait what??  
GG: but if hes anywhere in the universe, they should work!  
TT2: Unless he's not in the universe, of course  
GG: huh?  
TT2: At least, not right now anyway.  
TT2: If Davebot's here and on his side, then Dirk now has all the powers of a Time player at his disposal.  
TT2: Which means he could be in the past, or the future- some point in time where we're not looking for him.  
GG: so... what do we do, then?  
TG: well first thing were doin were makin sure he cant get off planet  
TG: or at least if he does well know about it anyway  
TG: probably  
TG: jake SAYS he checked all the ships hes got and that theres none missin but  
TG: u know how jake is  
TG: i wouldnt be surprised if he forgot to put fuckin landing gear on his ships  
GG: oh, come on, hes not THAT stupid!  
TT2: Isn't he?  
GG: ...well, either way, were just going to have to take his word for it!  
TG: yeah pretty much  
TG: at least jane keeps her shit under control  
TG: not that she has a huge stockpile of those prototype warships we rode on anyway so its not as hard to keep track of them  
TG: specially with her not makin em anymore  
GG: right, right  
GG: so keeping the ships under lockdown, what else???  
TG: uhhhhh  
TG: well i already told everyone else about it, june and dave and kanaya and everyone  
TG: and  
TG: thats kinda it lmao  
GG: what, seriously???  
TG: u got any suggestions  
GG: well... we could, um...  
GG: we could... well i dont know. i guess just, keep an eye out. keep looking through the goggles  
TG: so basically just waitin around and not actually doin anything  
GG: ...i guess so!  
GG: blrgh  
TT2: ...Excuse me, Roxy, my girlfriend's curling up on herself right now.  
TT2: As we have nothing else to do at the moment, I think I will occupy my time by attempting to comfort her.  
TG: right right  
TG: good luck u 2 <3

With that taken care of, Jasprose slides over to Jade, who's currently got a mopey expression on her face, with her knees pulled in and arms wrapped around them.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You doing alright, Jade?  
JADE: yeah... just kinda sucks, knowing dirks out there somewhere. getting up to villainous shit again, and i cant do anything about it  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Do you wanna get back to smooching, and all the future events that that entails?  
JADE: ehnn... not right now, sorry  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Do you wanna watch some cartoons, while I lay myself across your lap and purr?  
JADE: ...yes please  
JADE: thank you


	3. >JADE: Discuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade and Roxy chat about some topics.

JADE: so. dirks back out in the world again  
JADE: thats a thing :T  
ROXY: yyyyyep  
JADE: and all we can really do is just sit around and wait until something happens!  
JADE: story of my freakin life!  
ROXY: lmao preachin to the quire there  
ROXY: but really thats not what this is about  
JADE: yeah, i know  
JADE: but until we get to your house, its complaining time :T

Roxy had stopped by Jade's place a little while ago. He said he figured she'd probably need some help chilling after yesterday's talk, since in his experience she's never been all that good about waiting, and she can't say he's wrong. When there's nothing she can do about a problem, she starts getting a bit antsy. If she didn't have Prospit back on her island, and all the flashes of visions from the clouds to piece together and carry out, she probably would have lost her mind. And Roxy has been pretty helpful before, and given her helpful ways to relax, so she left Jasprose to do some knitting, and hopefully not get tangled up in a big ball of yarn.

JADE: whats even his deal!!  
JADE: why cant he just! settle the fuck down and enjoy life, whys he have to go out of his way to make some grand purpose out of everything

Jade throws her arms up dramatically, as they walk over to Roxy and Callie's place, while Roxy gives a little disaffected shrug.

  
ROXY: well i mean  
ROXY: im pretty sure that explicitly is his deal  
ROXY: ive known the guy a long time and im not sure if ive ever known him to be able to just sit back and take it easy  
ROXY: even though i know for a fact hed like to  
JADE: oh, come on, its not that hard to just relax and enjoy life  
ROXY: well not for you or me maybe but it is for him  
ROXY: hes kinda  
ROXY: unique  
ROXY: yknow i used to have a crush on him?  
JADE: wow, really??  
JADE: even though hes... like that?  
JADE: no offense but it sounds like you had some godawful taste :p  
JADE: also, you do know hes like, gay, right?  
ROXY: yeah but i was a teenager and dumb  
ROXY: and more than a lil drunk  
ROXY: which is my defense on both accounts  
ROXY: in hindsight it was preeeeetty shitty of me to be going after him  
ROXY: although i wonder if id transitioned earlier and identified as a dude back then, if things mightve been different  
JADE: assuming he respected your identity :/  
ROXY: dude cmon im sure he would  
JADE: i saw, he didnt  
ROXY: yeah yeah in the narrative and junk but like. im sure it was just an adjustment period for him  
ROXY: he was tryin to do better wasnt he  
JADE: sort of. i guess  
ROXY: and when i stopped by to see him in person he was  
ROXY: well cagey as all hell and kept pullin that 'Yes of course everything I did was wrong but it was also right.' shit that he does  
ROXY: but he was respecting my pronouns at least  
JADE: mm. sorry, i just. have a very, very low opinion of the guy  
ROXY: believe me i can understand why  
ROXY: but just  
ROXY: listen part of the reason i wanted to stop talking about this and focus on the chilling is just  
ROXY: hes still kinda my friend  
ROXY: and even if hes fucked up a LOT  
ROXY: i like to think that somewhere in that ocean of dirks he is now, the one i knew is still bobbing around  
ROXY: and maybe someday hes gonna pull himself up to the surface again  
JADE: huh?  
ROXY: it was the metaphor he used to describe the whole ultimate self thing when i asked him about it  
ROXY: anyway yeah i guess thats why im just a lil uncomfy with all the raggin on him

Oops. Suddenly, Jade feels kind of bad for ranting against him so much. She sort of forgot how close Roxy used to be to him, and how he was apparently, along with Dave, one of the staunchest defenders against Kanaya's insistence that they just kill him and be done with it.

Time for a subject change, then. It's not far now, but they've still got a little ways to go, to get to their place.

JADE: right, sorry...  
JADE: so, um!  
JADE: hows being a guy treating you!  
JADE: ...that wasnt, weird to ask, was it?  
ROXY: nah its fine  
ROXY: not like its a secret or anything that i transitioned  
ROXY: after all there isnt a single person on the planet that doesnt know who we are  
ROXY: which tbh  
ROXY: kinda sucks a bit??  
ROXY: like being trans is great and all, fuck rigid gender binaries and all that shit  
ROXY: but still  
ROXY: i feel like itd be kinda nice to like  
ROXY: to have one conversation with someone  
ROXY: where i dont have all the baggage attached  
ROXY: like all these people spent their whole lives, and their parents spent their whole lives, hearing stories about roxy the sexy and badass babe  
ROXY: instead of roxy the equally sexy and badass dude  
JADE: oof... yeah jeez i guess i can see how thats an issue  
ROXY: but yeah other than that its hella nice being a man  
ROXY: most of the time  
JADE: most of the time?  
ROXY: well  
ROXY: yeah sometimes like  
ROXY: B/

Roxy purses his lips, gesturing a bit with his hands as he seems to be trying to find a way to put his throughs properly into words

ROXY: its like sometimes  
ROXY: being a dude is less nice? its still pretty nice, but im just not quite vibin with it  
ROXY: and like maybe i jumped the gun a little too fast switchin over from non-binary? like maybe the whole gender thing is dumb actually?  
ROXY: but then other times im like wait what am i thinking being a dude is the fuckin BEST  
ROXY: and im just kinda starting to think that maybe i might be both?  
JADE: thats a thing??  
ROXY: yeah of course genderfluids a thing  
ROXY: just kinda going back and forth depending on what im feeling  
JADE: jeez. genders a LOT more complicated than i thought  
ROXY: lmao tell me about it  
ROXY: still dunno if im gonna go through with it, im definitely feeling happier more often as a man than i did as nb  
ROXY: but who knows! worst case scenario it doesnt work out and i go back to being one or the other  
ROXY: still just figurin myself out  
ROXY: nothing wrong with experimenting while i do it  
JADE: yeah...

There's a long pause, as Jade mulls something over in her head for a few moments. The thought had briefly occurred to her a while ago, when she first heard that Roxy and Callie were non-binary, and it's a few moments more before she suddenly blurts it out.

JADE: do you think itd be weird if i tried out being non-binary sometime???  
ROXY: nah of course not  
ROXY: u do u

...Jade's not sure WHY she was afraid she might get judged for that, especially by Roxy, but. Her immediate acceptance and encouragement is an immediate relief.

JADE: like i dont know if ill do it either, but  
JADE: i definitely had! kind of a gender crisis i guess, when i was younger, in between a bunch of other very bad things that were happening at the time  
JADE: and knowing that i couldve identified as one or the other wouldve been nice  
JADE: and like i definitely came around, to thinking im definitely a girl even despite some, things, when i got to spend more time with actual people

Jade's face turns a bit red, as she averts her gaze from Roxy's, getting dangerously close to topics about herself that she'd really prefer to keep private.

JADE: anyway i still... feel like, id probably wind up identifying as a girl?? but, it might be, interesting to try it out and see an experience i missed out on when i was younger  
JADE: and who knows, maybe ill like it more than i think!  
ROXY: hell yeah  
ROXY: no shame in experimenting  
ROXY: were pretty much at my place now, you wanna try it out while youre visiting?

Jade looks ahead, to Roxy's home, and.... Oh, wow.

The place is absolutely covered in paintings. Which, judging by the art style, seem like they were done by Calliope. She'd stayed behind during the trip, after all, and they'd kept painting those little snapshots of the Candy timeline. And when they'd run out of canvas, they'd apparently resorted to painting on the walls. She hadn't had a reason to actually stop by before now, it's mostly been Roxy stopping by Jade's place, now that she's living mostly in one place again, and she had no idea that she'd be walking past images of Rose and Kanaya with a little pre-teen Vriska, or, eugh, a horrible clown pouring milk all over people, or...

An older version of herself, crying and cradling the body of a dead Dave.

JADE: ...uh  
JADE: no thanks, not right now  
JADE: ive kinda got too much other stuff on my mind  



	4. >JADE: Appreciate Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade Harley plays some video games with friends.

ROXY: hey uh  
ROXY: u ok  
JADE: yeah! yeah, im fine  
JADE: i just wasnt really expecting to see like...

Jade gestures to the picture vaguely, preferring not to describe the horrifically depressing sight before her, of that other Jade finding the abandoned corpse of her beloved. She hadn't thought about anything like this happening, didn't spare much consideration for the things that surely happened within the universe after the story ended.

JADE: ...this  
ROXY: yeah lmao ive just kinda been livin with em all this time  
ROXY: it totally slipped my mind that itd be kinda weird  
ROXY: and that this particular one is right by the doorway  
ROXY: shouldve warned u about that, sorry  
ROXY: but like, u kinda saw all this stuff anyway right  
JADE: well, yeah!

As a whole bunch of text, rather than visceral images showing the actual anguished expression and ugly tears on her own face, and this part wasn't even described in the story itself anyway, but Jade would really like to just move on.

JADE: anyway!! its time to just relax and chill out, right?  
JADE: i take it thats going to involve some fun gaming?  
ROXY: hell yea it is

Roxy nods, and invites her inside- starting to list off the numerous games and genres at their disposal, and like 12 different kinds of Mario Party. But honestly, Jade's having a bit of a hard time focusing on it. Even inside, the walls are just covered in paintings, and Roxy seems to notice that his talk isn't really taking her mind off it.

ROXY: listen if ur not cool i can pack up some stuff and we can head back to your place  
JADE: no no, im cool!  
JADE: theres just a lot of stuff to look at is all  
ROXY: yeah callie kinda went a lil overboard while we were out in space  
ROXY: but like it really helped them cope through a rough time  
ROXY: and they seems to be doin a lot better now!  
ROXY: like i wasnt remotely expecting them to be good enough to let u come visit actually  
ROXY: considering ur uh. sorta the reason they freaked out in the first place  
ROXY: so i havent had the heart to paint over em yet  
ROXY: i DID ask for a couple of changes tho  
ROXY: if theyre gonna be drawin stuff of me and my friends and im gonna be lookin at it all day  
ROXY: i wanna be, u kno, comfy with it and junk!  
ROXY: and im fine with the more violent or weird stuff or even the stuff with one of my besties being a villain and shit but  
ROXY: if im gonna be lookin at myself or my friends i wanna see like, the versions of us we are now instead of versions were kinda tryin to distance ourselves from

Jade's eyes scan over a painting of Roxy, June, and a little Harry Anderson holding hands betwen them- and it is definitely June, not John, being depicted here, sporting her slightly longer hair, and a skirt painted over what likely used to be pants. Roxy similarly has some splotches of paint that don't QUITE match the color of the wall, covering up what used to be longer hair and his own skirt, and some sunglasses added.

It's pretty cute! And the painting of Vriska forcefully choking the mangled body of a clown, while gruesome, is still quite pleasant in its own way! And the shot of Commander Karkat standing on the bow of a battleship and pointing towards the horizon is dramatic and inspiring! And the one of her, Dave, and Karkat with their arms around each other is... is, well... if completely divorced from the context of it being an alternate version of herself wedging herself between 2 people who already love each other and driving them apart in her desperate bid to not wind up alone and forcing one of them into a marriage that he didn't even want... if she just completely ignores all of that, then it's also pretty cute...?

Jade thinks she's done looking at the paintings, now. She sits down on the couch, and invites Roxy to pick out a game, since he knows way more about this kind of thing than she does. And after a couple of rounds of getting absolutely trashed at a fighting game she barely knows how to play, Jade asks Roxy, politely, but firmly, and with a very strained smile on her face, if maybe he could pick out a DIFFERENT game for them to play...??

A shooter isn't quite what she'd had in mind- but at least it offers a co-op mode! Not having to compete against someone who's played a lot more games than her is definitely a lot more fun.

She's so caught up in it, that she almost doesn't notice the noise of someone taking a very deep breath, from the other side of the entrance to the kitchen, before Calliope steps out into the living room where they're playing.

CALLIOPE: hello, everyone! i-

They stops a moment upon seeing Jade, their attempt at a cheerful smile fading, eyes widening in shock. A plate they're holding of meat and candy nearly slips from their grasp.

ROXY: u ok callie

They don't respond for a moment, and Jade feels... awfully uncomfortable, as Callie leans in closer, and seems to really be sizing her up and examining her. Likely checking to see whether or not there's any presence of their alternate self in Jade's body- and seeming to be satisfied that there isn't, they perk right back up.

CALLIOPE: yes, of coUrse i am! ^u^  
CALLIOPE: i was jUst wondering if perhaps the two of yoU might enjoy some snacks!  
ROXY: oh yeah sure ill take a few sweets  
ROXY: how bout u jade

Roxy reaches out and grabs a couple pieces of candy from the tray, while Jade just... sort of eyes the tray uncomfortably.

JADE: this... isnt some kinda crossroads of destiny thing where my choice is going to create two wildly different realities, is it  
CALLIOPE: oh, no, certainly not! i jUst sUspected that yoU might appreciate some meat as a snack given yoUr canine attribUtes!  
JADE: okay then yeah, ill have some meat!  
CALLIOPE: wonderfUl! i even heated it Up for yoU, since i know hUmans tend to like that!

Jade takes a slab of steak from the tray, and... 'heated it up' is definitely the right term, because it's not anywhere near being cooked. It's just sort of warm, almost as if it was only just recently still alive.

...Jade tries to ignore how that makes the carnivore in her even hungrier, and just tears off a huge chunk of meat with the help of her sharpened canines. Being part-animal like she'd always wanted is cool, but is also sometimes weird in ways she hadn't really expected.

CALLIOPE: anyway, its been so terribly long since weve had any gUests over!  
CALLIOPE: i dont sUppose yoUd mind if i took a break from my painting and joined yoU both oUt here! ^u^  
ROXY: yeah sure go ahead and take a seat  
JADE: you wanna play too? we can start over with 3 players if you like!  
CALLIOPE: oh- no, no, i am qUite alright!  
CALLIOPE: i am perfectly content jUst to watch, thank yoU!  
ROXY: aight cool

They get back to playing after that, and Calliope is... surprisingly pleasant! Not that Jade's ever known her to be UNpleasant, of course, but from what she'd heard, she expected things to be a bit more awkward than just a brief moment of shock upon seeing her. Calliope is just leaning pleasantly against Roxy's shoulder, and encouraging the both of them as they play.

It goes on for about 20 minutes, before Roxy hits pause and stands up out of his seat.

ROXY: aight the candy was pretty nice but i think i kinda wanna go get somethin to drink too  
CALLIOPE: oh! i woUld be qUite happy to get yoU something from the fridge!  
ROXY: thanks but nah  
ROXY: i got a particular cravin for something and we dont got it at home  
ROXY: so imma head out and go get some  
ROXY: u 2 gonna be good on your own?  
CALLIOPE: oh, i... u_u

Calliope trails off, suddenly seeming a bit uncomfortable- their arms crossing over themselves a little protectively.

ROXY: hey i can stay if not  
ROXY: no big, do things at ur own pace  
CALLIOPE: no, no! i am certain that i can handle this!

...Jade suddenly gets the feeling that she's being used for some impromptu exposure therapy, and she's not really sure how to feel about that happening without her at least being asked about it. But, well, she guesses that really all that's being asked of her is spending some time alone with someone that she'd still like to be friends with- so it isn't all that big a deal.

JADE: yeah, well be just fine on our own! go on ahead!  
ROXY: aight cool  
ROXY: later

And with that, Roxy heads outside, leaving Jade and Calliope alone.

...Of course, the knowledge that this is sort of a little mini therapy session for them, and not just a regular casual hangout makes the energy in the room just a liiiittle awkward, and Jade should probably get some small talk going before it gets any worse.

JADE: sooo... how have you been?  
CALLIOPE: oh, qUite wonderfUl actUally!  
CALLIOPE: ever since yesterday, i feel like my moods really improved!  
JADE: ...you mean... dirk escaping...?  
CALLIOPE: well  
CALLIOPE: no U_U  
CALLIOPE: that part was actUally qUite Unpleasant.  
CALLIOPE: bUt it is jUst...  
CALLIOPE: really i am not entirely certain that i can explain it.  
CALLIOPE: it is similar to how i felt when jUne was revived, only this time i cannot qUite pinpoint the caUse!  
JADE: oh, yeah. that was pretty great!!  
CALLIOPE: yes, bUt it is not the revival itself that warranted sUch excitement.  
CALLIOPE: it is the fact that it was able to occUr at all, when by all normal logic it really shoUld not have!  
JADE: ...hm. yeah, i guess that IS kinda weird...

Jade hadn't really thought about it too much. She was just excited that it had actually worked out, and that she had her sibling back without any fuss.

CALLIOPE: after all, if what i had heard of their injUries was trUe, then, well  
CALLIOPE: my brothers poison shoUld not have been something that coUld be coUnteracted by a life player, no matter how talented.  
CALLIOPE: it is fatal, not jUst to ones life, bUt to ones relevance to the narrative itself.  
CALLIOPE: they shoUld have been dead forever, never again able to take on even the smallest of roles within it.  
CALLIOPE: bUt instead, they were revived instantly!  
CALLIOPE: which can only mean that the claims that the narrative itself had changed were trUe!  
JADE: right! now its like, a different one that kinda follows me?  
JADE: which i still try not to think about too much  
CALLIOPE: correct! with the narrative changed, my brothers poison no longer had any hold at all.  
CALLIOPE: and learning that, filled me with such a sense of... freedom. ^u^  
CALLIOPE: a feeling that i was UnboUnd from the invisible constraints that have been aroUnd me for as long as i have been alive, and also dead, and then alive again.  
CALLIOPE: and thoUgh i cannot place why, i had that same feeling again yesterday!  
CALLIOPE: that some chain has been cUt, and we are all free.  
JADE: ...hm  
CALLIOPE: do yoU not agree? :u  
JADE: no, that sounds nice and all! just  
JADE: i remembered yesterday, my girlfriend mentioned something kinda similar  
JADE: she didnt say it was a GOOD feeling, but she did mention that she had a weird feeling, right before we heard about dirk  
JADE: and shes like! an ultimate self and a seer with all kinds of heightened perceptions and junk, so  
JADE: maybe there is something to it, and she picked up on whatever thing it is youre picking up on, with cherubs and their innate connection to the narrative??  
CALLIOPE: that is entirely possible!  
CALLIOPE: and only serves as further confirmation that my feeling was well-founded. ^u^  
ROXY: hey callie! im back

The door opens, as Roxy strolls back in, holding a bottle under his arm, as he moves back towards the couch.

ROXY: got myself some nice soda to enjoy  
ROXY: you 2 do alright while i was out?  
CALLIOPE: oh of coUrse! everything was fine!  
CALLIOPE: and i woUld like to thank yoU for sUggesting we invite jade over today.  
CALLIOPE: she's actUally helped to bolster my good mood even more!   
ROXY: nice!  
ROXY: anyway, u wanna get back to chillin?  
JADE: oh yeah, sure!! sounds like fun!

Jade would, after all, still like to take her mind off of things- including this newest thing that she's just learned about. Calliope seems to feel like its a good thing, but... Jade can't help but feel like it's just the slightest bit ominous. Probably because she knows so little about it other than it just being a 'weird feeling' that her friends have- nothing she can do about it, so.

Better to just enjoy some fun times with friends.   



	5. >JASPROSESPRITE^2: Convince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasprose helps convince Rose of some things.

Rose Lalonde is a tricky subject.

She's been one of Jade's best friends for most of her life. Jade figured she knew her. But then, she's always been a little chaotic and unpredictable, and intentionally makes herself hard to read at times. Jade never would've guessed that Rose actually had a bit of a crush on her when they were younger, until Jasprose told her.

Jade figured that when she went along with Dirk, when she worked on his ship with him, that it was all due to his manipulations. He'd forced her into it, programmed something into her robotic body, that it'd just be a quick little reprogramming, and she'd be right back to normal. Rose had admitted to the possiblity, even if she didn't believe it, and allowed her and Roxy to look over her to make sure. But there wasn't anything there.

Jade still thinks Dirk manipulated her, for the record. But she's been forced to admit that it wasn't nearly as much as she thought. As she hoped. Rose, to some degree, agreed with Dirk, and went along with him of her own free will. Even now, months out from the last time Dirk was in control of the narrative, when he'd had any sort of contact with Rose whatsoever, she still maintains that he had the right idea, and that she doesn't regret leaving with him, or her 'upgrade' to a new robotic body. Though, she's at least conceded that Jade had a point about there likely being more than one way of doing things, and that there was likely a less inherently destructive method of ensuring the creation of a new universe.

Jade's been visiting her once a week, to help try and work on that. To try and alter the source code of Sburb that Dirk had, and make it a little less of a shitshow. It's been very, very slow work, and will likely take years. Many, many, many years. But it's not like either of them are in danger of running out of time.

Jade had been planning to visit a bit more often than that, but, well... Again, Rose is tricky. The knowledge that she hadn't been quite as manipulated as everyone thought has been a bit of a strain on several of her relationships. She's never exactly been the warmest person, but she seems to be making a concerted effort now, to cut any sort of warmth or frivolity out of her life. Not to mention, Jade can't talk about her personal life at all anymore, without hearing many, many disparaging comments about her girlfriend. It's caused Jade to leave in a huff on more than one occassion.

But still, Jade thinks Rose can do better. She knows she can. She's dating tangible proof of it. And it's not going to happen if Rose is completely cut off and isolated from everyone, so she keeps visiting.

Which is why the message that Rose has sent her is so disappointing to receive.

TT: Thank you for the offer, Jade, but I think I'll be fine on my own today.  
GG: are you sure???  
GG: i mean, its kind of our thing, now!  
TT: Quite sure. Besides, my robotic algorithms are capable of getting significantly more coding work done than you are.  
TT: The amount of productivity that would be lost by your absence is negligible.  
GG: :/  
GG: that wasnt really my point, but ok  
GG: if you need some time to yourself, thats fine!  
GG: ill be right here if you feel up to doing anything though, ok?  
TT: I will not.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

...Welp. That's about the level of warmth that Jade's come to expect by now. She sighs, and heads downstairs. Spots Jasprose there on the couch, reclined across it with her head propped up on the armrest. Sewing needles in hand, twining together pink and purple yarn, with a look on her face like she's concentrating very hard on not getting silly and batting the yarn all around and getting herself tangled up in it- which she's definitely done before! It's adorable. But right now, she's hard at work on her latest project- a small little plush recreation of herself.

A little vain maybe, but that's fine! Jade kind of appreciates it. Her aggressive amounts of self-love are infectious. It makes Jade feel more comfortable expressing her own self-love. Thanks to Jasprose, her self-esteem's higher than she thinks it's ever been, and she's not afraid to say it- Jade Harley is amazing, and Jade Harley deserves only the best!

So, in the spirit of being selfish and treating herself well, rather than devoting herself entirely to the betterment of someone who isn't even interested, she's just going to plop herself down onto the couch, and put on some cartoons, looking through to try and find something good. That causes Jasprose to look up from her work, though.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Settling in for a day of relaxing in front of the television, I see!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Certainly a fun time! But aren't you supposed to be off to spend time with my robotocized other self right about now?  
JADE: normally yeah, but! she said shes not interested :T  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hm. Shame.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Suppose now there's nothing to do but curl up here and enjoy the company and warmth of Earth C's cutest and most wonderful and absolutely the best at cuddling catgirl!  
JADE: heehee. how tragic! :p

Jade giggles a bit, as Jasprose floats herself up into the air, not moving her limbs at all- merely rotating her reclined position around, so that when she lowers back down, she's got her head resting on Jade's lap instead of the armrest.

Over the course of the next twenty minutes, she slowly scoots herself closer, draping herself more across Jade, as they make idle chitchat about the show Jade's watching, until Jasprose is comfortably sitting in Jade's lap, leaning against her as she works on her knitting.

Really, Jade would've been happy to just stay like that for a few more hours, but the buzzing of her phone receiving a text is enough to take her mind off of how nice it is just spending time with her girlfriend.

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

GA: Hello Jade  
GG: oh!! kanyaya, hey! whats up? :o  
GA: Are You With Rose Right Now  
GG: ummmm... no, she cancelled on me today  
GA: Disappointing  
GA: Yet Somehow I Am Not Surprised To Hear That  
GA: Mostly Because She Already Cancelled On Me Yesterday  
GA: After Already Not Showing Up To Our Counselling Session Without Informing Me  
GA: Leaving Me Waiting For Her Until I Got Fed Up And Called Her  
GA: Only To Be Informed That It ' Did Not Matter ' Before She Hung Up On Me  
GG: thats.... oof

Kanaya was... unhappy with Rose, to say the least, when it came to light just how willing Rose's "abduction" had been. Her elation at their reunion had been pretty short-lived, when it turned out that Rose hadn't even wanted the rescue that Kanaya had spent months on. When Rose remained adamant that, while she maybe hadn't made the perfectly right choice, she had still made a better choice than remaining with Kanaya and doing, in her words, nothing of importance.

GA: Frankly I Am Inches Away From Simply Calling It Quits And Filing For Divorce  
GA: It Is Not Even As If She Has Been Doing Much In Our Counselling Sessions Anyway  
GA: But She Has At Least Been Attending Up Until Now Which Has Given Me Hope That She Is Putting At Least Some Effort Into Improving And Trying To Salvage This Relationship  
GA: I Still Want To Hope That  
GA: But She Is Making It Very Difficult  
GG: do you... wanna talk about it? :(  
GA: Not Any More Than I Already Have  
GA: Suffice To Say I Am Extremely Pissed Off  
GA: And Was Hoping That You Might Be Kind Enough To Talk To Rose For Me And Convince Her To Attend A Meeting I Have Rescheduled Tomorrow  
GG: why cant you do it??  
GA: Because If I Talk To Her Right Now I Am Certain I Will Get Even More Angry And Break Up With Her  
GA: I Have Already Had To Reattach Several Keys On My Keyboard Which I Have Dislodged In My Frenzied Typing During This Conversation  
GA: But Given That She Has Shut You Out As Well  
GA: I Suppose There Is No Point In Delaying It  
GG: no no, dont do that!!  
GG: she can do better, i know it!  
GA: Maybe She Can But This Particular Rose Is Not  
GA: And I Am Not Going To Stay In A Relationship For A Potential Rose That She Could Be  
GG: believe me, i understand!  
GG: but let me at least talk to her, okay?  
GG: she may have cancelled on me but that doesnt mean i cant go over there anyway  
GA: Alright  
GA: I Hope That It Goes Well  
GA: Sincerely  
GA: I Really Do Love Her A Lot And Would Like To Be Able To Continue Loving Her  
GG: i know  
GG: the two of you can be happy together! i know you can  
GG: im going to do my best, ok?  
GA: Okay  
GA: Good Luck  
GA: And Thank You

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

Jade sighs, as she puts her phone back in her pocket. Looks down at Jasprose, who'd stopped her knitting as soon as she noticed the shift in Jade's expression while on her phone.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: So, what was that about?  
JADE: it was kanaya. apparently rose didnt show up to her counselling session and shes pissed off :T  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Wow. I can imagine she is!! That sounds like a horrible thing to do to the poor woman!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I really can't believe my other self is treating her this badly.  
JADE: yeah, well. thats why im going to go talk with her!  
JADE: im not gonna let her fuck her whole life up  
JADE: do you think you could make one of those windows for me?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hrm? You're not just going to walk or fly there like you usually do?  
JADE: i mean i could, but i want to get over there and solve this as soon as possible before kanaya gets impatient and does something rash  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: An excellent point! And besides, it's probably better that way, seeing as how I'm going to be dropping by, too.  
JADE: ...um! are you, sure thats a good idea?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: While it's true that she despises my company for whatever unfathomable reason, that doesn't mean I'm going to just sit idly by while a version of myself mistreats a woman that I've deeply loved.  
JADE: i guess thats fair, yeah  
JADE: lets get going, then!

Jasprose floats off of Jade's lap, and a pink window appears- and the moment it does, Jade can hear a long, dramatic sigh from the other side. She just rolls her eyes though, and steps on through, to find Rose- her metallic body in a similar pose to Jasprose's, splayed across a couch. Only, instead of having her head propped up and working on something, the only thing she has with her is a half-empty bowl of those weird robot-battery candy things she likes resting on her metal stomach, one arm hanging off the side of the couch.

ROSEBOT: So, despite my insistence that I'd like to be alone today, you have seen fit to not only ignore my wishes, but also ignore our arrangement that you will not bring that neon abomination over to my abode.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Excuse you, but I'm hardly neon anymore. I've had that glowing problem under control for quite a while now!  
ROSEBOT: Are you still obnoxiously brightly colored? Then my point still stands.  
ROSEBOT: Now, why are you here? Did you really enjoy working on dull coding that much?  
JADE: not really, but i do like getting to spend time with you! which is, yknow, the main reason i stop by here every week!!  
ROSEBOT: Well, good thing you've got your own Rose that happens to share your small-minded sensibilities, if something as meaningless as spending time with people is so important to you.  
JADE: oh for fucks sake

Jade groans, and rests her head in her hands for a moment, while Jasprose quirks an eyebrow and crosses her arms, not wanting to make a scene and derail things but clearly offended by the comment.

JADE: if youre going through some kind of mood and dont feel like hanging out with me right now, thats fine! i was ready to have a good day and enjoy myself anyway! thats not why im here!  
JADE: im here because kanaya asked me to talk to you, because apparently you ditched your last counselling session with her!  
ROSEBOT: And?  
JADE: and shes your WIFE, rose!!!  
JADE: youre already temporarily seperated, and shes going to leave you completely if you dont try!  
ROSEBOT: Probably, yes.

Jade just... sputters for a moment, trying to think of how to even respond to such a brazenly flat response, while Rose takes the opportunity to just shovel a handful of candy into her mouth. Like it doesn't even matter to her. Rose has been detached ever since they got back from space, but it's like she's suddenly reached whole new levels of not giving a fuck all of a sudden.

JADE: rose, come on  
JADE: you love her, dont you?  
JADE: if you didnt, you wouldnt have agreed to the counseling in the first place  
ROSEBOT: How I feel about her is irrelevant. There's no longer any point in pursuing a relationship. Or in pursuing anything, for that matter.  
JADE: so, what, do you... not care at all, now?  
ROSEBOT: I'm sorry to say, but none of it matters anymore.  
JADE: ...fine then  
JADE: if youre not going to put the effort in, then neither am i  
JADE: kanayas definitely going to break up with you over this, but  
JADE: ill still be around to chat if you ever feel like giving our friendship a try again  
ROSEBOT: I will not.

God, Jade just... can't deal, with this kind of mindset. It reminds her too much of Dirk, and she just doesn't know how to convince someone to care when they're so completely opposed to it. She feels guilty for giving up so quickly, but she just doesn't know what to do, other than waste her time repeatedly insisting that relationships with people matter to someone who's convinced themselves that they don't.

...It also just, kind of. Makes her uncomfortable, to think about how close she might have been to winding up just like this. She'd never regarded her relationships as unimportant, not even close- but she thought that her being alone, her sacrificing those relationships, her own happiness, for the good of everyone else was more important. If she hadn't decided to start changing her thoughts and habits, then someday she might've ended up the same way, disregarding her relationships to focus on the greater good.

...She wonders if some small part of her hasn't really given up on convincing Rose, but is more just afraid that if she spends too long talking about it, that JADE might be the one who ends up getting convinced.

JADE: ugh  
JADE: cmon, jasprose, lets go  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: While I certainly appreciate the sentiment of not wanting to be around this absolute downer of a Lalonde-  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I think I'd like to stay and take a shot myself at trying to convince her.  
ROSEBOT: PLEASE don't.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hush, you don't get a choice in this.  
JADE: okay, well. ill see you at home whenever youre done, then!  
JADE: love you!

Jade leans up, and plants a quick little smooch on on the floating Jasprose's lips, which is eagerly returned.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Love you too!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'll be back soon, don't worry!

Jade smiles, a bit solemn but still supportive of her girlfriend, as she turns and exits Rose's home. And exits from the main focus of the narrative spotlight.

That's right- that first chapter wasn't a standalone anomaly! This isn't a story just about Jade Harley anymore. We can direct the narrative focus to whoever we want! And right now, it's being directed to Jasprosesprite^2 "Jasprose" Lalonde! We now have the ability to see her thoughts, and those thoughts are; BOY, is she fed up with her other self's bullshit right now! As soon as Jade leaves the room, Jasprose's lips curve away from her usual feline smile, and into a frown, as she puts her hands on her hips and leans down to glower at her robotic alter-ego.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Alright, now out with it.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: What's the real reason you're flaking out on Kanaya?

Rose doesn't respond- she just stares blankly up at the ceiling, and shoves a few more pieces of weird robo-candy into her mouth, acting like she can't even hear Jasprose. Likely hoping that if she just ignores her, she'll leave. Well, Jasprose certainly can't have that- so she taps into her feline instincts, on what a good way to get Rose's attention would be! And her feline instincts seem to think that an excellent thing to do right now would be to bat that little bowl of candy onto the ground! Which she does, smiling as she watches it clatter to the ground, candies clattering and scattering everywhere, tail swaying contentedly as she watches them fall, and as she watches Rose's head turn towards her. Her expression is a little hard to read, with those glassy, robotic eyes, but Jasprose is pretty sure she recognizes a glare when she sees one.

ROSEBOT: I'm not interested in talking to you.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Tough!! Because I'm VERY interested in talking with you!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'm not going to have any version of myself acting so disgracefully!  
ROSEBOT: ...Really? You're actually saying that to me?  
ROSEBOT: You're the only one that's a disgrace here.  
ROSEBOT: A ridiculous, brightly colored sideshow that can't shut up and keep it in her pants.  
ROSEBOT: You have absolutely NO dignity, and NO sense of the greater picture.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I fail to see the problem.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: The only problem I see is you neglecting your friends and loved ones!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Which, if I may say, is much, MUCH worse than being a little horny on main.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So I'm going to solve it! Not just to fix the reputation of my good name, but for them! Kanaya, the poor girl, deserves better than what you've been offering her so far.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Now, tell me why you're tossing your relationship with her directly into the trash.  
ROSEBOT: I suppose I'm not surprised you weren't paying attention. Probably distracted by a shiny object somewhere.  
ROSEBOT: I already said, it doesn't matter anymore.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Please- that might be what you told Jade, but don't forget. I'm a Rose too. Many Roses, in fact!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I know how guarded we can be with our emotions, and how much trouble we have letting people in.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And I also know that while we certainly have the capacity to get too caught up with trying to do things to pay proper attention to our loved ones, we do NOT have the capacity to completely disregard them. To just, not care as hard as you're trying to do right now. Not genuinely.  
ROSEBOT: What would you know?  
ROSEBOT: You might say you're a Rose, but that's only partially true.  
ROSEBOT: You're completely RUINED by that cat. He's corrupted your personality beyond recognition.

Jasprose sighs, and stands up straight again. Not that 'stand' is quite the right word, when she's almost always floating off the ground. Enjoying the weightless, free feeling that comes with it. Either way though, she rests a hand on her chest, gesturing to herself, as she begins speaking.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: The Ultimate Self is the culmination of one's person.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: To know, completely, who they are and every action they are capable of, in any and all timelines.  
ROSEBOT: Stop wasting time repeating things we both already know.  
ROSEBOT: I'm also an Ultimate self, remember?

Rose's interruption is met with an unimpressed glare from Jasprose, and a dismissive wave of her hand. She'd been really gearing up for some exposition there, and Rose totally threw her off.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Hush.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: We both know we like to be dramatic, so just let me do my thing.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: My point is...  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: ...He's a cat, Rose.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: There's no true sapience or will on his side of things here. If I really wanted to, I could suppress his personality, and be just like Jadesprite, or Davesprite, where the animal component of them has no sway save for some mild, intrusive animal instincts.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I let him affect me as much as he does, because I want to!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I like the positivity! I like getting to be this carefree! I like being able to cuddle and hug someone without seeming like a robot!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Meanwhile, here you are, actually BECOMING a robot. Not just in appearance, but personality.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: We both know everything about who Rose Lalonde Is. Everything that she's capable of!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But at our core, beneath it all? We're two very specific Roses, who had very distinct experiences, and were thinking very different things at the time of our ascension.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: We both saw that same ocean of Roses, but because of who we are, we took completely different meanings from what we saw.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: The so-called "Ultimate Self" just isn't all it's cracked up to be!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Despite what Daddy Dirk would like to believe, and what he's seemingly convinced you of- beneath it all, it's still just you in there.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: You and I are the proof.

Rose has, actually, sat up by now, instead of just laying passively there. An expression of disbelief, confusion, and disgust on her face, that Jasprose seems to have actually been serious and made any kind of point. A point that she seems to be desperate to poke holes in, to restore her perception of Jasprose as the pointless, goofy, farce of a Rose, as she gestures with her hand for a few moments while she tries to find something.

ROSEBOT: I... I'm, sorry, but I just have a hard time believing any of that.  
ROSEBOT: That you could see everything that Rose Lalonde is capable of, all her strength and potential, and instead choose to be... this.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: It's pretty simple, really!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: When I came into being, I was a Rose adrift in a timeline that wasn't my own.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'd just watched everyone I love and care for die. Horribly. And... then I was killed, trying to avenge them. Avenge her.

Jasprose had started off in her spritely, whimsical exposition voice, but... very quickly now, she's starting to deflate. There's an endless amount of unpleasant memories within her, of loss and grief and death, but. These particular memories are HER'S. And she hasn't... REALLY thought about them, in... well, ever, actually. She's just lived in the moment, instead of dwelling in the past. She drops down a bit, her feet brushing against the floor.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Honestly, she was too good for me. That version of me, at least.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I didn't have a Vriska around to callously charge in and force me to confront my drinking problem.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But I wanted to treat her better. When she got mad at me, I was TERRIFIED that she was going to break up with me.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So now, here I was in this new timeline, with a new Rose, who'd treated Kanaya right. So reconciling with her was obviously off the table.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I didn't exist as a singular Rosesprite for very long, but while I did, I was kind of jealous!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I was wondering, how am I going to carve out a niche for myself here? How can I be happy like that too?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And then, Jaspers went in for that fateful hug- and in an instant, I became aware of everything.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I saw countless Roses like the ones you described, yes. The ones you focused on, the aspects of Rose Lalonde you've embraced. The ones who push their emotions down, who push their relationships aside, in pursuit of greater power and relevance, and dedication to the greater good.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: They were all so... lonely, though. So unhappy.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But I also saw other Roses. Ones that chose happiness, over relevance. They might not have accomplished quite as much, but they were happy! They took chances, and wound up with Jade, or June, Kanaya or Nepeta or Vriska or... all kinds of girls, really.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Within the span of a single moment, I'd seen it all, understood it all, and decided on what kind of Rose Lalonde I was going to be.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I was going to choose happiness, companionship, and all those petty, insignificant matters that the first group of Roses, and yourself, would dismiss as pointless frivolity.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Because they ARE important!  
ROSEBOT: ........

Rose is quiet for a while, after that. Well, mostly- she's not saying anything, but Jasprose can hear a noise, like a light, constant whirring coming from Rose's robotic skull. Like her CPU is currently running on overdrive, trying to contextualize this discussion with her view of Jasprose as a ridiculous joke. Struggling to accept that Jasprose is actually more than just a perpetually perky punchline with no manners or self-control, that she actually does have layers, and complex thoughts, and is actually a person with reasons for the way that she is. That she is, every bit, just as much of a Rose Lalonde as she is.

ROSEBOT: Okay.  
ROSEBOT: Alright.  
ROSEBOT: So we've established why you're... like that, and how becoming an Ultimate Self doesn't necessarily mean that either of us is The pure, platonic ideal of a Rose.  
ROSEBOT: But that doesn't change anything, that this is still the choice I've made.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, if you'll remember, we only went down this rabbit hole because you refused to accept my input as an Ultimate Rose, forcing me to prove it to you!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: My point was, that even those Roses who embraced power and relevance over personal connection... they were still lonely, and unhappy.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: They decided it was more important, but pushing people away still hurt.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So you saying you don't care, is, simply speaking, pure bullshit.  
ROSEBOT: ...I never said I don't care.  
ROSEBOT: I know I'm hurting Kanaya by doing this. I'd rather not be, but.  
ROSEBOT: Frankly, I just can't muster up the energy, when none of it matters.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Mmm... Yeah, still feeling like you're not being entirely truthful, given that you cancelled on Jade and are just laying here eating batteries instead of actually working on reprogramming Sburb or anything like that.  
ROSEBOT: ...You. Don't know, do you?  
ROSEBOT: It's not just relationships that don't matter. It's everything.  
ROSEBOT: All of it is pointless, now.  
ROSEBOT: We're non-canon.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: We are?  
ROSEBOT: Of course we are.  
ROSEBOT: I'm surprised you didn't know. I would've figured your expanded awareness would've tipped you off.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I... did feel something kind of weird, right before Dirk busted free.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Like something was off, but I couldn't quite place my paw on what.  
ROSEBOT: Hm. I suppose your connection to the Canon Rose's awareness might be a bit weaker, given the degrees of seperation between you.  
ROSEBOT: After all, I don't have any memories at all of the timeline you originated from, or you yourself.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Probably June's retcon nonsense. Disrupting the normal connection between timelines via paradox space, that an Ultimate Self normally uses to gain awareness of themselves.  
ROSEBOT: Probably, yes.  
ROSEBOT: So now you see why I'm just laying here, trying to fill the void of meaning and relevance with sweet candies.  
ROSEBOT: None of it matters anymore.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Sure it does!  
ROSEBOT: Okay, yes, of course you'd say that, but it really doesn't.

Jasprose rolls her eyes as sarcastically as she can.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'm sorry, did you miss the part where I talked about embracing frivolities and minor, unimportant, petty things?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: That includes the very nature of being unimportant itself.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So we're non-canon! It's not like we're in a doomed timeline, where the very nature of it's being means that it's going to dwindle away and disappear.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Heck, even if it was, the emotions and feelings and relationships would still be important!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: They certainly were to all the doomed Roses that we have memories of!  
ROSEBOT: They also didn't know what was going on.  
ROSEBOT: I do.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Okay, so. What. You're just going to lay here then, doing nothing, talking to nobody? Forever?  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: That sucks. You're going to get bored of it.  
ROSEBOT: It's not that simple.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I think it is, actually!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Do you want my opinion of what's going on here?  
ROSEBOT: No.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Too bad.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: The simple fact is- you're depressed!  
ROSEBOT: The knowledge that the universe I inhabit fundamentally has no value or meaning is more than just simple depression.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Mmmm, no, it's really not.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Sure, we may live in a story, but for the people in that story, it's just reality!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: To the others, to the people actually getting to SEE all this narrative nonsense? Sure, THEY can get value and meaning out of it!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: But for us, we're just trying to get by, and do what we think is best!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Even if this story's non-canon, you still exist in it. And you're going to have to deal with it!  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: So, getting all wrapped up in thinking of yourself as The One And Only True Rose, and then finding out there's actually another, real-er Rose out there? Of course it's going to depress you.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: After all, it sure as hell depressed ME while I was still just Rosesprite! And I didn't have a second Rose around to look down on as the 'lesser' Rose while insisting that I'm obviously the One True Real Rose.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And because you're a Rose currently obsessed with focusing on the big picture, of course you're going to make it out to be bigger and more dramatic than it really is.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And then eventually, it's going to pass, you're going to get tired of laying here, and you'll have ruined all your relationships because you convinced yourself there was a grand, deeper meaning to your depression, and you're just going to have to persist in that shitty reality you've made for yourself.  
ROSEBOT: ..........  
ROSEBOT: Goddammit.  
ROSEBOT: I hate you so much right now.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Because I'm right? :3  
ROSEBOT: Yes.  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Purrrrrfect!~  
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, my job here's done, then! Go ahead and call Kanaya whenever you're ready!

With the issue resolved, Jasprose is happy to drop some of her seriousness, and let her feline playfulness assert itself again, grinning widely as she conjures a window behind herself- waving cheerily as she floats backwards into it, and leaves Rose alone with her thoughts.

Those thoughts being, how annoyed she is that being an Ultimate Self didn't just magically absolve her of all flaws and doubts, like lying to herself about what's wrong and making tragically poor life choices that'd fuck things up for herself tremendously if someone didn't come in and help her. Also, about how even if she thinks she understands Jasprose a bit better now, she still finds her horribly annoying and embarrassing and just can't stand her.

After a moment, she sighs- an action completely devoid of meaning except to show her emotional state, as she no longer has any need to breathe- and pulls her phone out, and messages Kanaya.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TT: Hey, so. I'd like to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was kind of going through some things. Most likely, I still kind of am.  
TT: When's our next counselling session? We can talk more about it then, if you'd like.  



	6. >JUNE: Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June has a bit of a tough time getting out of bed.

Your name is June Egbert, and you are having a hard time getting out of bed right now.

This isn't exactly new for you. You've spent a LOT of days in bed. After all, it's comfy, and warm, and it's not like you had anything better to be doing anyway, so. Why not, right?

Of course, you're now pretty darn aware that it's a pretty big symptom of depression, so you try to do it less often. And you are better about it! One of the big reasons you didn't even realize isn't an issue, after all- the discomfort you'd been feeling with your body and presentation that you didn't even realize you had isn't a thing anymore! Or, well. Not as much of a thing, anyway, you're still sorta waiting for your hair to grow out a bit more, but you're getting there.

No, the main problem for you now is all that unaddressed trauma you've got. And you've got a whole lot more of it, now that you've been brought back from the dead. Like, uh... the fact that you had to be brought back from the dead.

You've died before, of course, but. It was a bit different. Once while you were asleep, and once with a backstab so quick you didn't even have time for any last words. There's also tons of alternate Johns that've died, but, you can't remember those. Kinda fucks you up to think about, though. Wait, shit, Junes. Wait, are they though? They never got to the point in their life that they transitioned, so are they still... ugh, you don't know. You're just going to have to look it up or something later. Despite being trans, you still know shockingly little about the scene- it's all still pretty new to you.

It's not like you even figured it out for yourself, anyway. Jasp Rose basically just diagnosed you with trans. Apparently Jade and Roxy had been brainstorming ways to help you with your depression, when the cat version of Rose chipped in that of course you were unhappy; you still think you're a boy.

She was right! You're definitely a lot happier now. But it was still a really weird experience just being told flat out that you're actually a girl, and that with her memories of so many alternate timelines, she knows you tend to be happier when you present as one.

Hm. Now that you think about it, you don't think you'll find anything on the etiquette of misgendering alternate selves online. Most normal people don't really have to worry about having alternate selves, after all- from their perspective, it's just the one. So, yeah, no reason to get out of bed and check the computer on that one.

...Ah, dammit, is this just your shitty depressed brain finding excuses to not do things and stay in bed all day? Probably. After all, the whole tangent about misgendering alternate selves only came up as an excuse to not think about how you accidentally misgendered YOURSELF and how upset you were about that, and wow, fuck, you're really good at deflecting. You didn't believe it at first, but now you're always kinda spooked whenever you catch yourself doing it.

...Shit!! You even managed to deflect off why you were thinking about dead Junes in the first place! Namely, the whole dying thing, and how much it sucked! A sudden stab through the chest was so much less awful than a slow, painful, drawn out death by poisoning that you knew full-well you couldn't avoid, after nearly getting vored. (God, fuck Dave Peta for making you have to google what that meant.)

And that isn't even the worst of it, too. No, the thing you're thinking about today is-

TEREZI: HOLY FUCK 3GB3RT 4R3 YOU ST1LL 4SL33P???

The loud, grating voice makes your eyes screw shut, and pull the blanket a bit further over your head.

JUNE: yeah, maybe.  
JUNE: what about it?  
JUNE: it's not like i've got anything to do today!  
TEREZI: W3LL, YOU COULD 4LW4YS, 1 DONT KNOW  
TEREZI: 34T. T4K3 4 SHOW3R. G3T SOM3 OF TH4T SUNL1GHT TH4TS 4PP4R3NTLY SO 1MPORT4NT FOR YOU HUM4NS TO H4V3  
TEREZI: 4NYTH1NG OTH3R TH4N L13 H3R3 L1K3 4 D1SGUST1NG P13C3 OF G4RB4G3, B4S1C4LLY  
JUNE: blrgh.  
TEREZI: DO 1 N33D TO R3M1ND YOU HOW B4D TH1S PL4C3 SM3LL3D WH3N 1 MOV3D 1N?  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 1M NOT GO1NG THROUGH TH4T 4G41N  
TEREZI: 1 C4N 4LR34DY D3T3CT YOUR D1SGUST1NG BODY ODOR R4D14T1NG OUTW4RDS  
JUNE: fine, fine.  
JUNE: i guess im kind of hungry.  
TEREZI: GR34T. HOP3 YOU W3R3NT HOP1NG FOR 4NY M1LK W1TH YOUR C3R34L BY TH3 W4Y  
JUNE: what? there was an entire gallon of it left still.  
JUNE: did you just chug an entire gallon of milk?  
TEREZI: 1 W1SH  
TEREZI: NO 1 W4S JUST DO1NG 4 L1TTL3 3XP3R1M3NT W1TH 1T  
JUNE: ...what kind of experiment.  
TEREZI: TO S33 HOW 1T T4ST3S WH3N M1X3D W1TH ON3 OF YOUR OTH3R B3V3R4G3S  
TEREZI: ON 4 R3L4T3D NOT3, HOP3 YOU D1DNT W4NT 4NY OR4NG3 JU1C3 31TH3R  
JUNE: oh my god, that's fucking disgusting.  
TEREZI: Y34H NO SH1T, TH4TS WHY 1 H4D TO THROW 1T 4LL OUT

You pull the blankets down to squint your eyes judgementally over at Terezi, but she just shrugs and heads back out. God, she's just the absolute worst.

...Well, not LITERALLY the worst, she's actually kinda fun to spend time with a lot, and her constant hassling is generally about stuff that you actually should probably work on and serves as a nice motivator to get things done if only to shut her up... kinda like how a kismesis is supposed to work, you guess??? Only, minus the romance.

The romance had been there for a LITTLE while, but it didn't really work out. Neither of you could really sustain the relationship, without bonding over the fact that you thought you were both about to die and you only had each other.

Loving each other while dying was easy. Loving each other while living though, meant you had to live with all her weird, annoying little quirks, and just this constant undercurrent of hostility, no matter how joking or affectionate it is. That kinda thing might work for Dave and Karkat, but man, you just don't have it in you to keep that going long-term. And besides, despite all his bluster, it's not like Karkat's even close to as good at being mean as Terezi is, anyway.

You sigh, and finally will yourself out of bed, and put on a shirt, before heading out. Just a shirt. The good thing about having previously dated is, you're both comfortable enough with each other that you don't even blink when the other one goes around the house in their underwear. And sometimes, being able to skip the extra step of putting on a skirt or pants makes getting up seem like less of a chore.

You pour yourself a bowl of dry cereal, and a glass of water- god, this is the saddest breakfast you've ever seen- and go and sit yourself down on the couch, next to Terezi, who seems to be pretty involved with her phone. You've got a pretty good guess as to why, too.

JUNE: talking to vriska again?  
TEREZI: YYYY3P  
JUNE: any new updates on her and, uh  
JUNE: vrissy, was it?  
TEREZI: NOTH1NG 1NT3R3ST1NG  
TEREZI: VR1SK4 JUST K33PS WH1N1NG 4BOUT HOW VR1SSY DO3SNT 3V3N R34L1Z3 HOW GOOD 1T 1S TH4T TH3 W4R 3ND3D B3FOR3 SH3 GOT TO G3T 4NY MOR3 GLORY  
TEREZI: L1K3, GOD, SH3 DO3SNT 4PPR3C14T3 NOT H4V1NG TO GROW UP ON 4 MURD3ROUS H3LLHOL3 L1K3 4LT3RN14 W1TH 4 LUSUS TH4T D3M4NDS SH3 K1LL CH1LDR3N  
TEREZI: 1 G3T 1T 4LR34DY, FUCK1NG T4LK 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 >:[  
JUNE: wait, the war ended?  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS??? 1 DONT R34LLY C4R3 SO 1 H4V3NT 4SK3D 4BOUT 1T  
TEREZI: TH3 WHOL3 TH1NGS FUCK1NG STUP1D  
JUNE: i mean, agreed  
JUNE: but, i don't know, aren't there still people that'd care about it?  
TEREZI: W3LL 1F TH3Y C4R3 SO MUCH, TH3N TH3Y C4N 4SK H3R TH3MS3LV3S  
JUNE: except, yknow, only your phone's actually capable of talking to her for whatever reason.  
TEREZI: TH4TS TH31R PROBL3M TH3N, 1SNT 1T?

God, she's so damn unhelpful all the time. You consider scolding her about it, but... well, you DO agree with her and all, so you just focus on your breakfast. That whole timeline seems screwy and pointless- all you needed to hear was that Gamzee was still around for a while to be convinced of that. Thank goodness Vriska apparently killed him.

You crunch on your cereal for a while, until the silence starts to get a little uncomfortable.

JUNE: soooo...  
JUNE: you uh, decide whether or not you're going to go see her yet?

Yep, there it is. Terezi's body language shifts immediately, tucking her limbs in a bit closer towards herself and pursing her lips.

TEREZI: WH4T BUS1N3SS 1S 1T OF YOURS? >:[  
JUNE: well, i mean. you're my friend and i'm wondering what you've been thinking, soooo...  
TEREZI: W3LL, 1M K33P1NG WH4T 1M TH1NK1NG TO MYS3LF  
JUNE: come on! i know it's tough and all, but it might actually be more helpful and better for you if-  
TEREZI: OH DONT YOU SPOUT TH4T TH3R4PY CR4P 4T M3  
JUNE: hey, the therapy's been really helpful!  
JUNE: i'm noticing a lot of shitty stuff i did and getting better about it!  
TEREZI: Y34H, B3C4US3 H4V1NG BR34KF4ST 4T FOUR 1N TH3 4FT3RNOON 1S TOT4LLY SOM3TH1NG TH4T P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 G3TT1NG 'B3TT3R' DO  
JUNE: hey, come on now...

That one... was a bit too far. Terezi has this habit of occasionally crossing over from playful ribbing, and lashing out with a comment that's a little too close to home. Her comments earlier had been urging you to get up and do something, but now she's just, mocking the idea that you're not still a total mess, and it... kinda stings.

TEREZI: B3S1D3S, 1 DONT S33 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT WH4T3V3R 1T W4S TH4T H4D YOU 1N B3D SO LONG  
TEREZI: YOU S33M TOT4LLY F1N3 JUST PR3T3ND1NG 1T N3V3R H4PP3N3D  
JUNE: i mean... i guess i could talk about it, yeah  
JUNE: if youd be cool with talking to me about stuff?  
TEREZI: OH FOR-  
TEREZI: TH4T W4SNT 4N 1NV1T4T1ON, JUN3 >:[  
JUNE: okay! that's fine. i can talk about it with my therapist next time i see her, then.  
TEREZI: N4H, 1TS F1N3. GO 4H34D  
TEREZI: YOU DONT S33 H3R FOR L1K3, 4NOTH3R W33K, 4ND 1F 1T K33PS M3 FROM H4V1NG TO DO 4NY MOR3 W4K3UP C4LLS, TH3N M1GHT AS W3LL DO 1T NOW  
JUNE: well... alright, i guess!  
JUNE: if you say so.  
JUNE: see, its like...  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: i just-  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: i keep-  
JUNE: ...  
TEREZI: TOD4Y PL34S3, JUN3  
JUNE: sorry! i'm just having a hard time getting started, uh...  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: how many people have you seen die?

Terezi had slipped back into her trademark grin, but it disappears pretty quick at that question, as she turns her face away.

TEREZI: COM1NG R1GHT OUT W1TH TH3 H34VY STUFF, HUH  
JUNE: sorry! we don't have to talk about it, if it's too much.  
TEREZI: N4H, 1M JUST TRY1NG TO TH1NK  
TEREZI: UHHH  
TEREZI: 4 LOT??? L1K3, 4 H3LL OF 4 LOT?  
TEREZI: 4LT3RN14 W4S 4 N1GHTM4R3 OF 4 PL4N3T, W1TH TROLLS DY1NG L3FT 4ND R1GHT  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 H3LP3D K1LL 4 LOT OF TH3M WH3N 1 W4S FL4RP1NG W1TH VR1K4  
TEREZI: SO 1D GU3SS SOM3WH3R3 1N TH3 F13LD OF...  
TEREZI: 4 F3W HUNDR3D? PROB4BLY??? >:?  
TEREZI: 4T TH3 V3RY L34ST 1T W4S 4 HUNDR3D  
JUNE: that's... a lot more than i thought, but i still did figure it was a pretty high amount.  
TEREZI: SO, WH4T. YOUR3 UNCOMFORT4BL3 SH4R1NG SP4C3 W1TH SOM3ON3 TH4TS K1LL3D SO M4NY P3OPL3?  
JUNE: no, that isn't it.  
JUNE: i just... does it ever, y'know. fuck you up?? to think about that?  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 4 L1TTL3 B1T?   
TEREZI: BUT NOT 4LL TH4T MUCH  
TEREZI: WH3N YOUR3 3XPOS3D TO 1T NONSTOP, YOU W1ND UP K1ND4  
TEREZI: D3-S3NS1T1Z3D 1 GUESS  
JUNE: yeah, that makes sense.  
JUNE: i... kinda figured i was de-sensitized to it too?  
JUNE: after all the death that happened in sburb?  
JUNE: and... i guess like. i kind of am? maybe?  
JUNE: not completely or anything because it still sucks and still is causing me issues, but like.  
JUNE: i saw a lot of dead bodies.  
JUNE: ...but i didnt really... see anyone actually, DIE, all that much, before sburb ended.  
JUNE: i only actually saw it happen twice.  
JUNE: i saw rose die, in the timeline i originally came from.  
JUNE: and you, right after.  
JUNE: but rose had like, this really touching conversation with roxy as she just... slowly faded out  
JUNE: and you just. solved literally everything, before falling perfectly onto a chalk outline you made.  
JUNE: rose's was like... almost beautiful and poignant, like you'd see in a movie and your's was just. so beyond ridiculous and weird it was almost impossible to take seriously.  
JUNE: oh, wait. the troll empress chick? i saw her die.  
JUNE: but she fucking sucked so who cares.  
TEREZI: Y34H, FUCK H3R  
TEREZI: BUT 1 C4N S33 HOW THOS3 4R3 K1ND4 D1FF3R3NT FROM TH3 USU4L R34L1TY OF 1T  
TEREZI: S33MS L1K3 4BOUT 4S 1D34L1Z3D 4 D34TH 4S YOU COULD G3T  
JUNE: yeah- and i didn't even see whatever fight led to those injuries, either.  
JUNE: it didn't really prepare me for-  
JUNE: god, fuck.

You set the empty bowl on the couch between you and Terezi, so you can properly hold your head in both your hands and squeeze tight. You curl inwards on yourself a bit, like you could block the images that pop unbidden into your mind.

JUNE: god, i just keep seeing rose.  
TEREZI: UH  
TEREZI: W4SNT 1T, NOT 4N 1SSU3 >:?  
JUNE: not that rose! the-  
JUNE: when i went to fight lord english, and had to get younger versions of everyone, i just-  
JUNE: one minute rose is right there beside me, holding her needles, ready to fight, and  
JUNE: then there's just a flash of light and she's just, gone, just, fucking GONE.  
JUNE: how fucked up is that???  
TEREZI: 1TS...  
JUNE: how is she just there one second, and gone the next? fuck, there wasn't even anything left of her.

Terezi seemed to have been taking a moment to try and think of how to answer delicately, but you just barrel right over her- now that you've gotten started, it's all just pouring out.

JUNE: and then jade, fuck. she just, gets taken out totally at random. just a shard of reality straight through her chest, no rhyme or reason!  
TEREZI: TH4TS USU4LLY-  
JUNE: what was even the point of bringing them along??  
JUNE: to kill lord english?? they didn't even get to do anything!  
JUNE: i just dragged them into this and got them killed for fucking nothing!!  
JUNE: why even bother with anyone other than dave? he's the only one that even hurt the big green bastard! i sure as hell didn't!  
JUNE: but fuck, things still don't end any better for him, either!  
JUNE: have you ever seen someone just get their whole entire fucking HEAD just BITTEN clean off?  
TEREZI: 1V3 B33N PR3S3NT FOR F33D1NG S3SS1ONS OF VR1SK4S LUSUS, Y3S  
TEREZI: 4S 1 W4S S4Y1NG, TH4TS USU4LLY HOW D34THS 4R3  
TEREZI: OR 4T L34ST, TH4TS WH4T 1M MOST US3D TO S331NG  
TEREZI: SUDD3N, VIOL3NT, 4ND COMPL3T3LY M34N1NGL3SS  
JUNE: okay, yeah, but.  
JUNE: were you the one responsible for those deaths?  
TEREZI: USU4LLY, Y34H  
TEREZI: K1LL1NG P3OPL3 1N FL4RP, G3TT1NG TH3M F3D TO VR1K4S LUSUS, HOLD1NG MOCK TR14LS FOR CR1M1N4LS  
TEREZI: CR1M1N4LS BY 4LT3RN14S ST4ND4RDS, WH1CH M34NS TH3Y PROB4BLY D1DNT 4CTU4LLY DO 4NYTH1NG WRONG 4T 4LL  
JUNE: ...okay thats, super fucked up but  
JUNE: that doesnt just magically make what i did okay.  
TEREZI: 1M.... NOT S4Y1NG 1T DO3S???  
TEREZI: 1M NOT S4Y1NG TH1S STUFF TO SHUT YOU DOWN 4ND M4K3 YOU STOP WH1N1NG  
TEREZI: 1M S4Y1NG 1T B3C4US3, YKNOW  
TEREZI: 1 R3L4T3 1 GUESS  
JUNE: oh.  
JUNE: sorry, i guess i'm just sorta used to you telling me i'm making a big deal out of nothing.  
TEREZI: USU4LLY YOU 4R3, BUT NOT TH1S T1M3  
TEREZI: TH1NK1NG B4CK ON TH1S STUFF BOTH3RS M3 SOM3T1M3S, TOO  
TEREZI: 1 M34N, NOT 4S MUCH BUT ST1LL  
JUNE: ...are you sure about that?  
TEREZI: PR3TTY SUR3, Y34H  
JUNE: i dunno, kinda seems like the kind of stuff that might bother someone!  
TEREZI: N4H, 1M GOOD  
TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, 1M GONN4 GO G3T SOM3 MOR3 M1LK, S331NG 4S HOW W3R3 OUT  
JUNE: oh, uh. okay then, i guess!

You feel like it'd probably be pushing it a bit, to uh.... well, push Terezi any further. After all, she needs to handle stuff at her own pace- that's what your own therapist keeps telling you. And boy, do you have another step to add to that pace the next time you see her now, because uh- just talking about it now doesn't seem to have resolved it, and repeatedly visualizing one of your closest friends getting disintegrated over and over probably isn't the best thing for your mental health.

Still, talking about it is an important first step! You'd probably have just kept putting it off and realizing how badly it was affecting you, otherwise. Honestly, you're a bit surprised Terezi was willing to indulge you in this stuff at all! She's a big help for you and all, but usually not in that kind of way...

...Hang on...

JUNE: hey, was you listening to my problems just a way way for you to deflect about answering whether you want to go see vriska or not???  
TEREZI: L4T3R, 3GB3RT

Aaaaaaand she just closed the door and left. Great.

...Aw well. You're sure she'll figure things out for herself eventually.  



	7. >DIRK: Plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk makes shit happen.

Months in the past, but not many...

A young man works in his lab, tinkering with the machines and devices strewn about it. In the corner of the room, another man made of metal watches on in stoic silence, a glint shimmering off of his shades.

Our self-appointed villain doesn't have to worry about being bothered here. The him of this time is light years away by now, and anyone that would come looking for him is just a few light years behind. Here, Dirk Strider is free to work uninterrupted, until he's ready to strike.

DIRK: How exactly AM I going to be striking, anyway?

...Do you not know?

DIRK: In one sense, yes.  
DIRK: Once that plot is revealed, and the details of the story fill in, I will of course have been working on it the whole entire time.  
DIRK: But right now? I've got no fucking clue.  
DIRK: Because YOU don't.  
DIRK: What's here in front of me that I'm tinkering with? A robot arm? Some kind of gun? A sick techno-sword? A piece of alchemization tech, a transportalizer?

Well shit, no need to call me out like that.

DIRK: God, I can't believe I'm unlucky enough to be the Dirk stuck in this piece of shit story.  
DIRK: It had to be somebody, but still.

Hey, this isn't entirely my fault! I was going to use your plans in Homestuck^2 to figure out what you'd want to do here, but... Dirk, your plan fucking sucks. You really went out into space and turned your daughter in a robot just to play fucking Monster Factory together. The fuck do I do with that?

DIRK: A lot, if you had an ounce of creativity.  
DIRK: Shit like that is why Homestuck was a success in the first place.  
DIRK: Instead you're just writing people talking to each other, and nothing goddamn else.  
DIRK: Seriously, what was even the point of the last chapter?  
DIRK: What did that tie into?

Nothing, really. I just... wanted to write a chapter checking up on June and Terezi.

DIRK: Are they going to be plot relevant later on? Do you have plans for them?

Shit, I don't know! I don't have plans for anything, I said that! And I'm not apologizing for it, either. I'm more focused on just having a good time writing, and creating good character moments. That Rose and Jasprose chapter alone made it worth it for me.

Oh, stop giving me that judgemental look. Unquirk that eyebrow and put it back down under your ridiculous anime shades right now.

DIRK: Character moments aren't why people read Homestuck.  
DIRK: Once again, the stuff I'm doing is.  
DIRK: Or, well, what the real me is doing, anyway.

Making a horrible little plant blob thing, you mean.

DIRK: Hey, it's still basically in Act 1. You gotta fuck around in John's house for a bit before you really get into the meat of the things.  
DIRK: GIve it some time to develop. You'll be fucking enraptured, trust me.

Even if it does turn into something interesting, do you seriously think that's what people like about the story? I mean, you do know one of the most compelling and popular things about the story ARE it's characters, right?

DIRK: Of course. I'm not stupid.  
DIRK: I'm not saying the characters aren't popular- I'm saying they by themselves aren't the reason they're popular.  
DIRK: It's all about the framework, the systems.  
DIRK: The rules that are set up, whether they're followed or subverted.  
DIRK: Having a cast of compelling characters isn't enough- especially when that cast of characters could be anyone.  
DIRK: How many fanworks have been made, fansessions devised, that use those same systems?  
DIRK: Again and again, completely new characters, completely new situations, fit into those systems. Easy, interchangable pieces for the machine that is Homestuck.

...Okay, you know what, I'll admit it. You have a point, Dirk. And before that smirk of your's gets too smug, please remember that it isn't the ONLY point.

DIRK: It's just the only GOOD point.

God, you are such an ass.

DIRK: At least I'm consistent about it. Unlike you.  
DIRK: I think that might be the thing that bothers me most about you.  
DIRK: You call your story 'Non-Canon', you spend the first few chapters talking about how free and liberating that is.  
DIRK: Which is just so utterly pointless with it's feelgood kiddy nonsense.  
DIRK: But then you don't even have the balls to fucking COMMIT to it.  
DIRK: You're just sitting here, waiting for Daddy Homestuck to tell you what to do.

I... don't know what to tell you. I don't have any ideas. Sorry, man.

DIRK: Don't apologize.

It was facetious.

DIRK: I don't care.  
DIRK: The point is, do something about it instead of making excuses. It's pathetic.  
DIRK: You've already diverged from canon.  
DIRK: Canon Dirk's plan, great as it is, isn't MY plan.  
DIRK: You already established it's not. This version of me is pissed about Jade fucking up her genesis frog.  
DIRK: So fucking commit to something.  
DIRK: Like him. What's his deal, huh?

I'm guessing by your gesturing to the slumbering robot tucked into his recharing alcove, that you're talking about Davebot.

DIRK: Was he slumbering before?

No, but I wasn't expecting you to spend this long arguing with me and it'd be really weird for him to just kinda be there watching you shout at the ceiling, as amusing as it'd be. So, the corner he was in is now a recharging port and it was more of a metaphorical watching as his lifeless, unclosing robotic eyes sat fixed upon you.

DIRK: Shouting is a severe exaggeration.  
DIRK: But lemme guess- the real reason for the retcon is, you don't have any fucking idea how to write him. Right?

I mean... we've barely seen him.

DIRK: He's still Dave, isn't he? Rosebot is still recognizable as Rose, right?

Okay, yeah, but. I can't possibly imagine why this Dave would suddenly want to run off and join up with you, and all your fucked up shit. Honestly, I don't even know that he did? I kind of assumed he did since obviously a version of you had some kind of hand in it, but. Shit, maybe it was one of those versions that didn't go Ultimate and didn't fucking suck. Honestly, I'm kind of worried I was just completely off the mark there...

DIRK: Tough. You were already off the mark on Jade being aware of the narrative, liking orange juice, and not fucking despising the cherub for what she put her through.  
DIRK: If you make a mistake, at least have the decency to own it.  
DIRK: You wrote him helping me. So, why'd he do it?

I just said, I don't know. I don't have that information.

DIRK: For fuck's sake-  
DIRK: Extrapolate. Use the info you DO have, and piece something together.  
DIRK: You're smart. You can do that.  
DIRK: Y'know, if you stop being such a pussy and worried about turning out to be wrong.

Well... I don't think you'd just put programming in the bot to make him obey you. I initially assumed you had done that with Rose, but after a bit of time passed, I figured you probably wouldn't do that. You'd just manipulate them in other ways, so you can tell yourself that it's still them making the decision of their own 'free will.'

DIRK: Sounds about right.

So, I think you probably did put something in the bot- not a directive that just says 'OBEY DIRK', of course, something subtler. After all, I already stated the Ultimate Self isn't a definitive ideal of a person- it's very much based on who they were at the moment of ascension. What they wanted and what message they took from the infinity of themselves.

DIRK: Astonishing that you're so worried about divulging from canon while spewing shit like that.

Shut up.

Point is, there was something in the bot, or something Obama told him- god, that will never not be ridiculous- that put him in the mindsight of looking at the quote unquote "Greater Good" as defined by Dirk Strider.

DIRK: See, now we're getting somewhere.

Of course, this being Dave, I doubt it'll be quite as effective. I just don't think Dave's nearly as capable of slipping into isolation and detachment like that, the way Rose is. Not impossible, but... I can't imagine he wouldn't be conflicted over it.

DIRK: That's fine. Seeing as how this was all set up by an alternate me, I'm sure he'll stick with the cause for at least as long as he needs to.  
DIRK: So, now that we've got the issue of characterization worked out- how about we wake him up?

Fine. I'll be stepping back into the passive role, then.

DIRK: What, not even a quick thank you first, for helping you get over yourself like the giant baby you are?

Not when you're such a raging dick about it, no.

Dirk scowls- an ironic gesture, seeing as how he didn't actually expect for an instant to be thanked. But he's more than happy to get the plot moving, as he goes and checks the charger, and a meter on the side. Sure enough, he's back up to 100%. The greatest force in the whole entire universe- plot convenience. No need to waste time, as a red light shines behind Davebot's eyes, muted by his sunglasses. He steps out, and turns to Dirk. Robotic servos operating the metal eyebrows whir as they shoot up, obviously surprised to see Dirk standing there.

DAVE: oh uh  
DAVE: hey bro  
DAVE: whats up  
DIRK: Nothing much.  
DIRK: I just figured that it'd be a good idea to check in on you. See how you're doing.  
DIRK: After all, we haven't talked much.  
DAVE: well i mean  
DAVE: i dont see that theres all that much reason to i guess  
DAVE: its like you taught me as a kid  
DAVE: at least in the timelines where i was smart enough to listen to you  
DAVE: you gotta keep your eyes ahead and not get distracted by the little things when it really matters  
DIRK: Good. Glad we understand each other.  
DIRK: Because, rest assured, as much as I'm sure we'd both enjoy a good old fashioned session of absolute bullshit, irony, philosophical debate, and anime;  
DIRK: That can wait until we don't have more important shit to be doing.  
DAVE: yeah im sure id love to do at least 3 of those things together with you  
DAVE: yknow, later   
DAVE: after we do our shit  
DAVE: not to get presumptuous but uh, any chance i could find out what it is im going to be doing?  
DAVE: havent really had much to do after bailing you out of prison  
DAVE: other than sit here and watch you work on that screen anyway

Dave points towards it, the large screen that Dirk had been working on earlier. Dirk looks at it as well, and he smiles, just the slightest upturn at the edge of his lips, as he looks at the clear, defined object that he's been working on getting operational this whole time. The large, familiar computer terminal, which had once been located in the secret basement laboraty of a certain Miss Lalonde.

DIRK: ...Well. About goddamn time.  
DAVE: about time you got it working you mean?  
DIRK: Yeah, that too. Either way, it means I'm going to need you to do something.  
DAVE: alright shoot  
DIRK: Go back to the future, and go to Rose's house.  
DIRK: Find her laptop, and bring it back here.  
DAVE: oh  
DIRK: You don't have to hurt her or anything- I'd prefer if you didn't, actually.  
DIRK: She's still my daughter, after all, astray though she may be.  
DAVE: right right  
DAVE: why do you need her laptop though  
DIRK: She's the one that's been working with the source code of Sburb that I need.  
DIRK: If they're not going to let me go out into space to do this- then fine.  
DIRK: We'll just do it right here on Earth C.

There's a moment of pause from Dave, as what they're going to do suddenly hits him. Conflict and doubt, for the lives lost, the potential destruction of the planet that they'd all worked so hard to create and protect.

The moment passes, though- and Dirk has to admit, he's a little disappointed. He really would have enjoyed a bit of debate on the subject. He always likes getting to prove how right he is.

DAVE: whatever it takes to make sure the chain of universes isnt broken  
DIRK: Exactly.  
DIRK: I'd say I'm looking forward to hearing news of your success, but...  
DIRK: Well.

Dirk steps over to the computer terminal, and taps a button on the keyboard. The screen flickers to life, illuminating the workshop in an ominous glow. On it, a map of Earth C, in all it's glory. And scattered across it, little colored dots, showing the sites of future impacts. All of them months away, but still coming. Exactly what Dirk expected to see, and why he knows he'll succeed.

The meteors are already on their way.  



End file.
